Frustrations of weight

Obesity is a huge issue, has been for a while and will be for a long time to come, it’s a great topic to write about; easy, fast, lots of info on and everyone personally knows someone.  A writer with a blockage it’s an easy topic, today I want to write but couldn’t think of what to write about, so I decided to not write about obesity, I want to talk about the opposite.

I am 27 years old 5’6 and i weigh on my best days 107, I have always been underweight and no, I am not anorexic.  I love food, I love to eat, I am very active (nerves, can’t sit still) I love healthy food and I can not gain weight.  I have had plenty of failed attempts and plenty more times I have stepped on the scale and was scared to see it say 111, a couple of days later it will say 105.  It’s discouraging and it sucks just like someone trying to lose weight and watching their effort go no where, trust me it all hurts the same.

Through my efforts of gaining weight and muscle I don’t get near the amount of encouragement and help people do who are overweight, “why do you want to gain weight?” “You’re fine, don’t worry.”  “why complain because you can’t gain?” “At least you’re not heavy, you are healthier than me.”  people seem to forget that being underweight is unhealthy and carries its own risk as well.  I am weak, no muscle mass, I am tired, I am constantly cold and I have hyperkalemia: a potassium deficiency.  My potassium levels have been so low I have been hospitalized over them, with weak muscles including my heart irregular heartbeat, I can not count the nights or the numbers of cramps aka Charlie horses I have in one single night, the places I have had them.  One night I woke up to cramps in both my legs at the same time.. I know after those nights I am going to have a terrible day, I will be weak, exhausted and my blood pressure is going to be wack all day.  (but I should not say anything because I am small)

Quite frankly it pisses me off when I get the negative comments in my attempt to gain weight, I am a human and I don’t like my weight, I want to change it the derogatory comments are unnecessary and I shouldn’t have to defend that to people but since I am underweight people think its ok to comment and that it is not harmful, I wish to change that.  Maybe it’s jealousy, envy maybe anger, idk honestly those are just my thoughts on way because the response I always get is “you don’t need to gain, try being me.” I understand I really do being overweight sucks, but so does being underweight

I had an argument with a customer a few days ago about this subject, we was having random conversation while she was waiting for her food she made a comment about how hot it was in the building and I replied “Yes it sucks it’s too hot to move around too much and it is really hurting my weight gaining efforts, it’s like a sonah in here.” My comment pissed her off and she was offended by the fact that I was complaining about being skinny.  Really?  If we take a look at health risks for over and underweight they are not much different at all, it’s the way people view it that makes it so different.  All sizes are beautiful, I am non judgemental and will support people who want to change themselves when they are doing it for the right reasons, for themselves, their health.  Why can’t people be the same towards me?

I am not an asshole, rude, downing anyone or trying to offend when I talk about my weight.  If I take to social media and post this picture and this caption what will happen? Will I get as many likes? Words of encouragement? Or hateful remarks? again I stress that I am not hating on anyone, personality is all that matters to me.  I included my arm in the pic to show are small I really am.

 

IMAG0772

“Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.”

 

What kind of response would I get? I am going to find out.

 

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