Burnt away

Further and further I seem to drift away

Inside I feel myself grow cold tired and old

I stand before one bare and exposed 

Standing like that which came before me

Plain, white against the dark of night 

I’ve struggled to hold onto what once thrived inside of me 

Blazing higher brighter than light from the fire

It wasn’t smothered away 

I let go a little at a time 

As the fire burned away 

I did nothing but watch embers fade

So all I ask is for you to spare yourself please

I’ve tried and tried to explain

Emptiness still resides

This emptiness consumes me but that is my way

You can not save me with words and gestures

Genuine affection as soft as the rain

I beg you save yourself from me

There is no cure for me 

After all because of the rain 

I cannot relight the flame

Advertisements

Haunted

I don’t want to be haunted by the past

By your harmful words and actions

Although you see no wrong

You expect forgiveness all the same

I should just let everything go

We are family, we share the same blood

I wouldn’t take a bullet for a friend who has done me this way

Why should I allow you another chance to aim?

I am wired to forgive

But that wire has caught fire

I lit the match

You sparked the flame

The past is the past

I should just let it go

Your words and actions today

All sound the same

I am left in a seemingly endless cycle

Not stuck between wrong and right

More should I try to fix this?

It’s impossible when you see no wrong

Leaving me to take the blame

Most days I know I should walk away

Twenty eight years is a long time spent full of doubt and questions

I know all the answers

But my mind is still full of shame

I’m left here alone pacing and anxious

I can’t understand why I fight myself day after day

I shouldn’t care about this pointless pain