Welcome to my world

Come in, have a look into my world

Be careful please step over my crumbled dreams

Welcome to my world desolate and lonely

Listen carefully to what I say

My screams are soundless

My voice silenced by all my words

My heart black as coal

So you should think

Welcome to my nightmare

Over here you’ll find a building 

This is my shelter for sadness 

My safeguard of war

Don’t touch the cracked glass

Your blood doesn’t belong here

Take my hand I’ll lead you to the beach

Frigid sands of damaged hope and sorrow

No castles were ever built here

No time to play I have somewhere to be 

This is my world

Once bright with love and innocence

Don’t strain your eyes to see

It’s now lies and deception 

Conceal my vision 

To cloak the horror I see

At times I wish to die

The void is calling out to me

Cover your ears you don’t need to hear

Welcome to my punishment

Asylum to the darkness 

Home of the corrupt

The forgotten sands often call for me

I cannot disregard it 

I fade into the dark

Have you realized yet?

You cannot see what I see 

This is my burden 

My smile stolen by the beast 

The one who demolishes my peace

No hope for me

No escape from this torment 

The screams haunt me in the only shelter I know 

The darkness there will always captivate me

Do not speak of what you may see 

The beast scornful laugh 

It bleeds into me

His hands covered in blood

The blood is dry 

Welcome to my dream 

He doesn’t yet know you are here 

The ill beast eyes are burning black 

His forbidden voice tells me I am dead 

I smell him

His horrid breath smells of death 

I cannot save me 

The agony he brings 

My heart begs to be torn out 

I built a place for you to run 

It’s untouched 

To save you from all the lives here 

The beast has done this so many times before 

It is my blood the covers his hands 

How sacred he whispers in my ears

Each time you are mine 

He sighs, close to me 

I control your world 

It happens again 

You make it easy for me 

Welcome to my world

Leave now 

Before you get lost 

You don’t want to meet the beast that follows me

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Burnt away

Further and further I seem to drift away

Inside I feel myself grow cold tired and old

I stand before one bare and exposed 

Standing like that which came before me

Plain, white against the dark of night 

I’ve struggled to hold onto what once thrived inside of me 

Blazing higher brighter than light from the fire

It wasn’t smothered away 

I let go a little at a time 

As the fire burned away 

I did nothing but watch embers fade

So all I ask is for you to spare yourself please

I’ve tried and tried to explain

Emptiness still resides

This emptiness consumes me but that is my way

You can not save me with words and gestures

Genuine affection as soft as the rain

I beg you save yourself from me

There is no cure for me 

After all because of the rain 

I cannot relight the flame

Haunted

I don’t want to be haunted by the past

By your harmful words and actions

Although you see no wrong

You expect forgiveness all the same

I should just let everything go

We are family, we share the same blood

I wouldn’t take a bullet for a friend who has done me this way

Why should I allow you another chance to aim?

I am wired to forgive

But that wire has caught fire

I lit the match

You sparked the flame

The past is the past

I should just let it go

Your words and actions today

All sound the same

I am left in a seemingly endless cycle

Not stuck between wrong and right

More should I try to fix this?

It’s impossible when you see no wrong

Leaving me to take the blame

Most days I know I should walk away

Twenty eight years is a long time spent full of doubt and questions

I know all the answers

But my mind is still full of shame

I’m left here alone pacing and anxious

I can’t understand why I fight myself day after day

I shouldn’t care about this pointless pain

How much longer?

Sit and watch as the clock ticks time away

How long can I listen until it drives me insane?

How will I know when my time is up?

All of my best laying in waste

As time moves on without me

This much I can see

It will never stop and wait on me

When this realization strikes in my head

I ran to catch up with those ever moving hands

Running and chasing I can’t seem to get ahead in this race

Am I really running to beat the clock?

Time? The tick tock of the clock?

Time is something I will never catch

For the clock is cunning and sly like the fox

No matter what pace I dare to keep

Time is relentless it has never taken a break

That clock will always be ticking one second ahead of me

I will have to train and learn to keep its pace

That will be a greatness no one will ever defeat

When you call for me

 

When you call for me

I need to you know

Everything is different now

The cause all my own

When you call for me

I will not answer

Your voice once as beautiful as the falling snow

It stays in my head

It becomes bitter and cold

When you call for me

I ask that you know

You no longer hold the feeling

Of a cool breeze on a hot summer day

Like the mark of a sunburn on my skin exposed

You just bring me pain

When you call for me

I want you to look to the sky

Do you see that bird flying so high?

She is on a path somewhere you cannot go

I need you to stop and imagine

That bird is me soaring away from you

When you call for me

Look straight ahead

You see the beautiful oak tree?

I am no longer sitting underneath those leafs

Writing poetry or dreaming of thee

When you call for me

I will never know

This love has been disconnected

This is the last time I answer that phone

When you call for me

I hope you remember these words

I hope they chill you to the bone

No, it’s your time to feel the unknown